Smile as Soon as You Wake Up, Even Though
They Might Think You're Crazy

SHARE YOUR FUNNY STORY AND MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY
I invite you to brighten the lives of others by sending us your short, funny stories. Putting a smile on many faces, getting them to giggle, even having them rolling on the floor laughing with tears running down their cheeks, will bring a little joy to your heart as well.

Send to admin@betterhomesandschools.com the funny things your kids have said or done, and teachers, don't forget those Classroom Howlers. Include your first name.

We reserve the right to select which stories we publish. We also reserve the right to make minor editorial changes to the stories we publish. We do not publish stories with content or wording that may offend others.

Enjoy!

KIDS CAN BE REALLY FUNNY

Source
http://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/entry/the-funniest-thing-your-kid-said_n_7213254 (13 March 2017)

I sat down with my 3-year-old daughter who was playing at her dollhouse. I asked her which doll I could be and she replied, "The one that does the dishes."
Jamie Sabelhous, Huff Post

Dropped (my son) off at preschool and he says, "Have a good weekend, Mommy" as he leaves the car. Clearly, he has plans that don't include me.
Jennifer Hewitt, Huff Post

My 4-year-old was using this Spider-Man cup all day long without complaints. Then he hands it to me and calmly states, "Here, Mama. This is the worst cup I have ever seen."
Eden Boehler, Huff Post

My 2-and-a-half-year-old set up a wall of toys around her in the kitchen and was lying down amongst them. Her stuffed giraffe kept falling on her face-first, and I just heard her saying, "I'm not food, giraffe, I'm not food. I'm not food!"
Rachel Miller, Huff Post

2-year-old: What's that? Can I hold it?"
Me: "That's a calculator."
2-year-old: "No, that's a calcuNOW."
Xiao Wei Wong, Huff Post

CLASSROOM HOWLERS

Source
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1308964/Roman-women-built-fires-brasseries-hilarious-classroom-howlers-schoolchildren.html

THE THINGS CHILDREN WRITE IN ESSAYS

His mother being immortal, had died.

We were trapped in a blazing car, but luckily enough a river was passing by.

As she went through her wardrobe, she found a scorpion in her drawers, she rose quickly.

I quickly glanced at the grandfather clock in a waistcoat pocket.

Clowns tie their trousers with string which, when it is pulled, shows a hair-raising scene.

EXAM ANSWERS THAT WILL MAKE YOU GIGGLE

Source
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2215937/Classroom-clangers-Hilarious-astonishingly-genuine-exam-howlers-A-grade-wit.html

Q: Describe energy produced by the human body.
Ans: Nervous energy.

Q: If a government is given a mandate, what does this mean? How might this come about?
Ans: A mandate is a boy's night out. A womandate is a girl's night out.

Q: In what ways is the 'first past the post' electoral system undemocratic?
Ans: It's not fair to people who can't run very fast.

Q: Give an example of how smoking can cause long-term damage to a person's health.
Ans: It causes heavy breeding.

Q: How often are the Olympic games held?
Ans: Every 400 years.

I'm looking forward to having a good laugh together with you in the next article.

Cheers,
Richard